Self-Worth
Samantha

May 20, 2024

Self-Worth

 

​In our latest podcast, Diana and I found ourselves going deep into the underpinnings of self-worth. Imagine looking in the mirror and truly believing, “You are smart, you are kind, you are important.” (The Help …and Diana’s favorite quote.) Simple words, but they can transform your life, if you really believe them.

Self-worth is the foundation of our mental health and productivity. When we doubt our value, it can lead to feelings of depression and the dreaded imposter syndrome—that nagging voice that says, “I don’t belong here” or “I’m not good enough.” This inner critic can sabotage our personal relationships and professional achievements, holding us back from our true potential.

Why do we let external validation dictate our self-worth? From a young age, we seek approval from others—parents, teachers, peers. This constant search can overshadow our own sense of worth, like trying to fill an endless cup from a leaky faucet. No matter how much praise we get, it never feels like enough.

Even our role models aren’t immune to these feelings. Oprah Winfrey, for instance, has talked about the universal struggle with self-worth. Imagine Beyonce, the epitome of confidence, still seeking reassurance after a performance. Self-doubt doesn’t discriminate; it’s a shared human experience.

Imposter syndrome is another facet of this struggle. Ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? You’re not alone. This feeling is common in high-stakes environments like academia or competitive industries. The fear of being “found out” can be paralyzing, but knowing others feel the same can be liberating.

Our issues with self-worth almost always start in childhood. As kids, we internalize messages about our value based on feedback from others. Conditional love, comparisons, and unmet expectations can plant seeds of self-doubt, which grow into deeply ingrained beliefs about our worthiness.

The good news is we can unlearn these beliefs and reclaim our self-worth. Techniques like inner child work, tapping (EFT), and regression therapy can help us heal by revisiting and reframing our past experiences, shedding layers of self-doubt.

One powerful idea to explore is the law of assumption, from Neville Goddard’s works. It’s about embodying the feelings you want to attract. Assume the feeling of worthiness, and you’ll start to experience situations that reinforce that belief. It’s a shift from seeking external validation to cultivating internal assurance. This is a concept I am deeply passionate about and focus on in my Spiritual Life Coaching.

Building a support system is also crucial. Surround yourself with mentors, friends, and resources that uplift you. Engage with personal development materials that resonate with you. Jamie Kern Lima’s book “Worthy” explores these themes deeply, offering insights and strategies to enhance your self-worth.

Remember, self-worth is a journey, not a destination. It’s about recognizing your intrinsic value and embracing it, flaws and all. You are enough, just as you are. Write it on your wrist, wear it on a sweatshirt, or simply whisper it to yourself every day: “I am enough.” Let these words ground you in the truth of your worthiness.

So, take a deep breath, look in the mirror, and remind yourself of your incredible worth. You matter, and the world is better because of you. Embrace your self-worth and let it guide you to a life filled with confidence, joy, and endless possibilities.

INTEGRATION: Belief Tree

The Belief Tree is a rather straight forward process that can get intense very quickly as you begin to have epiphanies surface. The trick to working the belief tree is being dead honest. If you can’t be absolutely honest with yourself, you may want to have someone assist you in this process. 

Step 1: Think on a situation or a thought in which you have kept telling yourself, you are not good enough to do it or have it or be it. Write down what ever that is.

Example: I know many coaches who wonder what they really have to offer, who would listen to them and their advice or systems.
Statement: “I don’t feel like anyone will listen to what I have to say.”

Step 2: Write out the following phrase and ask yourself, “What must I believe is true about myself to feel this way?”

Example:
Question: “What must I believe is true about myself to feel that no one will listen to what I have to say?”

Step 3: Measure how strong that feeling is on a scale of 1-10 where 1 is the weakest and 10 is the strongest.

Step 4: Ask the question again and then write down the very first thing that comes to mind.

Example:
Question: “What must I believe is true about myself to feel that no one will listen to what I have to say?”
Statement: “It seems like my family never listens to me.”

Step 5: Now look at the statement you just wrote. Here’s where the honesty comes in. Is this statement true? Ask yourself, then write out what the truth is.

Example:
Statement: “It seems like my family never listens to me.”
Question: Is this statement true?
Truth: “While sometimes they may not listen to you, it’s not like they never listen to you. And, in all honesty, most family members don’t listen to those closest to them, because they aren’t an authority figure. But I’m not sharing advice with family members. I am the authority here. Therefore, my clients will listen to me.”

Step 6: Now, having spoken the truth, go back to your original statement, state it out loud and see how if it still feels as strong on a scale from 1-10 or has the feeling lessened. If it is a little bit less, but thee still feels like there is something there, then go through Steps 2-6 and see what else comes up.

So when you are needing to repeat the process, this his how the Belief Tree is formed. You want to keep working on it until the feeling is down to a 0-3. 

Now you may better see why it helps to have someone else asking the questions as they move you through the process at a faster pace keeping you from getting in your head. You want to take the first thought and run with it. There are other things that can move this process a long, but, for our purposes here, let’s keep this simple and see what you come up with!

*portions of this post were written with the assistance of Jeeves (AI)

The above blog post serves as a foundation for the insightful podcast episode titled
“Episode 44: Self-Worth.”
YouTube Link: Click Here!
Weekly Wanderlust Integration: 
This is an accompaniment to the discussion to assist in integrating the concepts herein and can be accessed via the Facebook group>
KISS – Keep It Simple, Sister: Click Here!

In the podcast, the hosts expand upon the ideas and findings presented in the blog post, engaging in a more comprehensive and dynamic discussion. They delve into real-world examples, current events and emerging understanding related to this topic. Through lively conversation and real-world examples, the podcast episode offers listeners a richer understanding of the topic while fostering thought-provoking dialogue among any participants and audience. Together, the blog post, podcast and the integration of the “Weekly Wanderlust” activity create a multimedia experience, that informs, stimulates and utilizes the topic at hand to create a deeper learning and discovery experience.

Mentioned in Podcast…

Affirmations to Use

  • This affirmation is all about staying strong within yourself regarding boundaries.
    Smile and think to yourself, “I think I am going to need you to fuck off!”
  • You is smart. You is kind. You is important. (The Help)

Courses & Workshops


6-Week Clarity Quest

The 6-Week Clarity Quest is a 6-week self-guided journey with optional group sessions that guides you along the “Illuminated Path” to freedom of emotion and a life you truly enjoy! This is packed with all of the tools and guidance offered through my spiritual life coaching program – Life Design.

Click here to see if this program is for you and to apply!


Life Design Group Experience

Welcome to my new Life Design Group Experience. There will be 3 LIVE sessions available each month/1 week off for Integration, to  focus on eliminating erroneous beliefs and integrating skills proven to shift one’s perception of reality into a brighter, more positive space.

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Sweary Affirmations

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We’re excited to welcome you to our online store, KISS – Keep It Simple, Sister. We’ve got some fantastic items we think you’ll love.

At KISS, we’re all about keeping things simple and enjoyable. We want your shopping experience to be a breeze, and we’re not here to pressure you into buying anything you don’t want or need. Instead, we’d love for you to come and explore what we have to offer at your own pace.

Whether you’re browsing for yourself or looking for the perfect gift, we’ve curated a collection of items shared in our podcasts and with our clients that we use, we love and we think you will, too! From everyday essentials to unique finds, our store is a reflection of our commitment to your personal development and spiritual journey.

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